Subconscious Resistance to Heal

The Silent Saboteur Within

Although all of my clients who came with the desire for change and healing seemed to want to get better, after a while, I realized that some of them were still not making enough effort. These people were resisting healing without realizing it. Identifying this changed my perspective and made me realize the invisible obstacles that hindered some people’s development. Although initially willing, they were unable to overcome these obstacles.

Fear of Change

Change can be frightening. Healing requires entering the unknown and leaving behind old behaviors, relationships, or patterns. It was astonishing for me to see some clients prefer pain over healing because of the uncertainties the change may bring. They might panic that healing may change who they are or take away their sense of control. This fear can show up as subtle resistance: Although they seem to desire to be healed fully, something silently sabotages the process.

The person with such fear may resist healing because they are terrified of the unknown. What does life look like without the illness that has defined it for so long? This creates a paradox. This attachment to pain or illness can be the most challenging to overcome because it requires a fundamental shift.

I remember working with a client who became extremely uncomfortable when we talked about change. She asked me to stop. She knew she needed to heal, but the fear of change overwhelmed her. We eventually had to pause, and it was clear that her fear of change was a major obstacle.

Holding On to the Illness

Individuals who have had a chronic illness for a long time may begin to form an identity with their condition. The illness becomes part of how they see themselves and how they build a relationship with the world. For example, someone who has dealt with a long-term illness may begin to define themselves primarily as a ‘sick person’. This identification can become so deep that healing feels like a loss of identity.

In many cases, the illness not only becomes part of the person’s story but also a way of connecting with others. Becoming relieved of this long-standing “sick person” identity can cause anxiety or worry since it may leave them feeling lost and unclear about who they are. Healing can feel like a threat to this constructed identity which leads to an internal conflict: The person may want to improve but subconsciously resist the process.

Feeling Unworthy

Some individuals carry deep beliefs that they are unworthy of happiness, health, or a life free from troubles. They may form a belief system that their struggles are their destiny and pain is a part of their identity. They see joy and well-being as something wrong or undeserved.

In some cases, these individuals may have grown up in an environment where suffering was commonplace. This normalized suffering can turn into a lifelong pattern where they no longer see any alternative to their pain. I have found such beliefs to have the power to create mental blocks to healing. The person may not even be fully aware of these beliefs, as they are subtle and operate on a deep level.

Fear of Losing Attention

For some individuals, being unwell or in a state of trouble brings sympathy from their close environment. The attention from loved ones, friends, or even therapists and doctors can make them feel seen, validated, and supported. This emotional bond may give them a feeling of belonging, which they fear will vanish with healing. They worry that their recovery could isolate them from the support and care they currently receive.

The idea of losing this attention can create an unconscious fear and resistance to healing. They might worry that they will no longer be seen, heard, or valued by others. As a result, the subconscious mind might sabotage the healing process in subtle ways. In some cases, this fear might even go unnoticed by the individual.

Fear of Failure

People may hesitate to fully commit to healing because they fear failure. Even after giving their best effort, the fear of not succeeding can hold them back from trying again. If they commit and don’t heal, it could strengthen their worst fears of being unable to overcome their struggles. This makes them feel even more helpless.

They might start to wonder if the emotional or physical effort is worth it. The fear of failure and the possibility that healing might not happen is a nightmare. The idea of trying and failing can feel more painful than not trying at all. They escape the effort. As a result, subconscious resistance may appear and trap the person in their familiar routines.

The fear of failure can also lead to self-sabotage. People might skip sessions, ignore given tasks, or question whether the therapy will work. They hold back in order to protect themselves from the disappointment of not succeeding. The true driving force is to stay away from the outcome they fear. The real motivation is to avoid the result they fear.

Loss of Hope

Some individuals can lose hope and give up when they attempt to heal themselves without achieving the desired results over and over again. This loss of hope can turn into a belief, and they may conclude that healing is not possible for them. They may see their condition as a permanent part of their identity.

As a result, they might stop looking for help because they are convinced that no method can solve their problems. This belief becomes a mental barrier, creating frustration that healing is beyond their reach. This mindset turns into a significant mental block, and it leads them to the belief that they won’t succeed.

Lack of Willpower

When someone loses motivation, resistance to recovery may also occur. Healing requires dedication, hard work, and determination to succeed. The idea of committing to this journey can sound frightening to people who lack motivation.

They may stick to their usual routines because they do not feel ready to cope with the emotional or physical work. Since healing may sometimes require them to face rooted behaviors, this unwillingness may sometimes be linked to a fear of change. If they lack the will to face difficulties, they can end up trapped and unable to move forward, which would contribute to their inclination for avoidance.

Denial For Need

Denial of the need for help often arises from a combination of pride, fear, and beliefs about independence. People who encounter this kind of resistance might convince themselves that they can solve their own difficulties. If they’ve grown up in settings that discouraged vulnerability, they might think that seeking help is a sign of weakness.

Denial can also serve as a coping method to keep people from facing the depth of their problems. They would have to confront difficult facts about their emotional, mental, or physical condition if they admitted they needed assistance. Some people could be frightened of what they might discover in therapy or treatment. They could feel more secure when in denial mode because they can keep away the discomfort and uncertainty that may come with facing their problems.

My Greatest Realization

My greatest realization was to discover and prove to myself the body’s innate ability to cure itself simply by regulating the heart and helping change its habitual structure and conditionings. This structure is the accumulation of experiences from one’s lifetime and past lives. This method has already been tested by many scientists, but its meaning opens up new dimensions when you experience it yourself.

The possibility of a heart-to-heart connection, even from a long distance, motivates me greatly to dig deeper into the healing process. When individuals experience a genuine connection with someone who understands their troubles, it can help break through blockages.

When the heart switches on, it informs the brain to move into a coherent state. When we open and activate the heart, we generate heart coherence that is essential to creating when combined with brain coherence. This is how healing is initiated.

Navigating Resistance in Therapy

I’ve found that working directly on the client’s energetic heart and heart energy fields can provide incredible insights into their resistance. This is the most effective informative method I have ever tested.

Contrary to the Western approach, Taoists believe the Shen of the heart plays an outstanding role in memory, especially memory related to conditionings. The ‘Shen’ refers to the consciousness of the heart, associated with mental and emotional activities. These activities include memory, perception, and cognitive functions.

I once had a client with an advanced stage of cancer. He believed he would die soon. After focusing on his heart energy in our weekly sessions, something remarkable happened. Within a few months, he completely forgot about his gloomy destiny. He not only stopped remembering the illusion his mind constructed for him but also, cancer began to regress.

Another client who strongly believed that she could not be healed was relieved immensely after noticing and becoming aware of her clinging to this constructed notion. This is not a one-day effort for sure, and it may be a long process, but when the obstacle of the belief system is removed, the rest becomes simple. Many other examples have followed this.

Support and Encouragement

When clients begin to accept their resistance, it opens the way to deeper healing. Acceptance allows them to accept their patterns without guilt or shame, which makes it easier for them to embrace change.

If clients haven’t shown up for a while, I offer them a free session to encourage them to continue the work. This approach reminds them of their possible recovery and strengthens the trust and bond you, as the therapist, have built.